Lumbridge

Lumbr... ahem the Noob Guild is the starting point of all noobs.

Beginnings
After the Epic God Wars, (Where, I might add, Bandos and Zamorak got their armies handed to them in piles of rubble) Saradominist people discoverd a river coming down from, what was now quickly becoming known as 'The Wild'. The then people set up their makeshift noobarific, 4 - in - 1 Tents. First a Main, Military forces Tent was set up to the south-west of the River (that they still hadn't named yet) Then a few living tents and a Saradomin chuch was set up. After a couple of years the settlement had grown from people in tents to more people in proper living conditions.

The First Noob
The citizens of what was first known as 'Bridge' were happy with their lives until one day there was a terribly huge thunderstorm that sent one half of Bridge (which by the way, did not have a bridge yet) flying west (This 'One part' of Bridge is said to have landed west of Port Sarim, possibly establishing the town we know now as, Rimmington) 'The Storm' created lightning that was said to have been seen by witnesses as far out as Ardougne) Then, with sudden precision and raw Noob, Three Lightning Bolts, One Blue, another Red and another Green. Blazed down and connected with Glienor (Runescape) At this point, every single thing living or otherwise shut their gobs.

There was complete Silence over Glienor for about 7 minutes. After the 7 minutes were up, The loudest noise in the history of Runescape was heard, A Completely massive crack in the atmosphere sent a bald headed loudmouth, rude, obnoxious Creation flying at record speed, straight down. straight for Runescape. Thus the very first Noob was born. His name was Lum, (which roughly translates to "noob")

Lum, being the first noob and all, obnoxiously decided to be an idiot and name the river after himself, so, for a second thus in this paragraph, The River Lum was created, and soon after, Lumbridge.